The performance race

Lately I have been feeling really exhausted and unmotivated about…pretty much everything.

I have this type of personality that when I face a difficulty I tend to think that I have failed at everything in all aspects of my life.

I have always had a big tendency to feel the need to control all my life and I have no patience, or very little.

So when I plan on achieving a goal, I get frustrated if it doesn’t happen in the timeframe that I set for myself.

The result ? Mental and physical exhaustion.

I am so hard on myself and have expectations that are so high that I have succeed to produce the total opposite effect of what I wanted to do : not achieve my goal.

In practical terms what does it mean ? I have lost appetite and want to eat more crap; my sleep is a disaster (I wake up several times at night); I have very low energy, my training has lost its quality and intensity; I don’t read/watch videos/ listen to podcast that much…

Worst aspect of all, I became a huge pain in the ass for all the people surrounding me, especially my partner (sweetie if you read this I am sorry, I am working on it).

I am learning the hard way that life is not a competition. Despite the society we live in and the subconscious rules that are forced upon us. So it’s time I stop banging my head on the wall I built with unrealistic factors.

I don’t have to be productive EVERY single day, I can’t be on the top of the world in all aspects of my life all the time.

I am trying hard to get better at expressing myself, live my life with passion and increase the quality of my relationships. But that’s the work of a life.

We live in a world of performance and I am feeling this way harder since I live in the US.

But it doesn’t have to be my case. I choose the way I react to everything and how I make my life.

Since I am in Miami I see a lot of people chasing money and working several jobs at the same time for multiple reasons. They aren’t millionaires and they aren’t more happy with their life.

I think life is trying to teach me a lesson: slow down, enjoy and make things happen in your own terms.

I need to get back passion in my life and reduce the pressure I am putting in myself. From today I am going to stop trying to full my days. Being busy from 7am to 11pm with 100 tasks doesn’t make me a better human being. Sleep more, have better food and especially, take more meaningful things to my life, personally and professionally.

I am setting myself 2 or 3 goals per month, write them down on my phone and putting them on the fridge. Achievable goals that aren’t going to stress me more.

I have 3 big goals for a year from now, we will see how it goes. I will probably have to adjust along the way.

My point today: don’t let the world AND yourself eat your personality and joie de vivre.

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